If I Blogged...

Mission and evangelism have long been stalwarts for the Western church. For centuries, American churches have supported missionaries in Third-World countries, celebrating stories of conversions and touting the great work for the Gospel those missionaries accomplished. Oftentimes these one-sided give —> give —> receive relationships are models as “successful” evangelism.

In response to this and other perceptions about mission and friendship, Christopher Heuertz and Christine Pohl collaborated to produce Friendship at the Margins, the latest in the Resources for Reconciliation Series from Duke and IVP. Rather than approach the standard view of mission and dissect it, they start the discussion by posing a series of questions:

• “What does reconciliation look like when you love Jesus and want the best for people who are caught in situations of terrible evil, need or despair?”
• “How would our lives and our ministries be different if our understandings of love emphasized friendship?”
• “What difference does it make for mission, discipleship and the church when friendship with people who are poor is a central dimensions of our lives? What is the impact on those with whom we minister? How are we changed?”

This work tackles one of the most standard characteristics of the Protestant church and turns it on its head. Heurtz and Pohl examine the realities of friendship and mission, even asking if the disciples and their desertion of Jesus during his arrest would be deemed a failure by today’s church metrics. They emphasize as well the difficulty of this type of Christian lifestyle, observing how they have been forced into touch moral quandaries with their friends and neighbors. All this to further emphasize their strongly-held believe that a life lived to glorify and serve Christ cannot be fully modeled without this radical approach to friendship.

In his memoir, Stanley Hauerwas writes that he tries “to live a life I hope is unintelligible if the God we Christians worship does not exist.” Throughout Friendship at the Margins, we feel Heuertz and Pohl calling us into this same reality. To live lives seeking radical, passionate friendship can only make sense if Christ walked among us, died for us, and rose again to save us.

This short work serves as a strong reminder to all of us in the church. Evangelism and mission are not simply actions that can be tracked by sales techniques and “numbers saved” metrics. They are not simply a series of buzz words, catch phrases, bracelets and presentations designed with mass-market appeal.

“If we use words and get words in response, sometimes we think we have done mission or evangelism. Ministry among poor and vulnerable people reminds us that words are rarely enough - what each of us needs is to know that we are loved by Jesus, beloved by God. Everything else flows from that. IN situations of injustice or despair, words alone are particularly insufficient. People need to be loved and valued by others. They need to see what love looks like.” [pp 10-11]

Friendship at the Margins, Discovering Mutuality in Service and Submission
by Christopher L. Heuertz and Christine D. Pohl, published by InterVarsity Press, 2010.

If you like books about revolutions on the Christian front, Friendship at the Margins, Discovering Mutuality in Service and Submission is a journey to consider, a quiet revolution in the meaning of mission. This pair of authors has real-life, down and dirty experience in the world’s poorest places. Christopher Heuertz is International Director of Word Made Flesh®. Christine Pohl, Professor of Social
Ethics at Asbury Theological Seminary, has worked with homeless shelters and refugee programs. Together, they tell a story that goes against the status quo, yet makes complete sense.

Instead of treating the mission field as a business model, they treat it as life. Instead of “missionaries” and “missioned-to,” they live and work in the mission field. This isn’t their job. It’s their home. They become friends with the poorest and most downtrodden people in the world.

Yet, they resist using friendship as a tool. What they found might be surprising, and it’s also inspiring to everyday friendships.

The premise is that messages, even about Christ, mean the most coming from friends. A ministry that runs in, blurts out a message, then quickly runs out carries the risk of being hollow and ineffective. But friendships are anything but that simple. They are layered and complex, as full of pain as joy, as full of talking as listening. The authors openly tell us about the hurts in the mission field, about the
complexities of dealing with both war victims and young soldiers, about friends who suddenly leave without saying good-bye. They touch on difficult subjects, like the incredibly destructive sex trade, yet do it without being overly dramatic.

Something clicked when I read Friendship at the Margins. A belief shared outside of a relationship sends the message that there’s something in it for us. Have you ever had someone, out of the blue, shout a message about Jesus at you? I once had a young man yell at me from down the sidewalk, “You don’t need that! All you need is Jesus, right here in your heart! Get him in your heart before it’s too late!”

I blinked. I pulled my chin back. What was he talking about? I was just waiting for a friend. More, he had no way of knowing how much I prayed, what I believed, what my particular troubles were. As it turned out, I soon realized I was standing in front of a witchcraft shop. Not shopping, just standing, but the thought occurred to me that it wasn’t his place to judge and scold me, regardless of where I was standing. If I wasn’t a Christian, I’m unsure he would have moved me terribly. In fact, it left me wanting to defend myself, which puts up a wall against anything he was saying.

More, it made a lingering impression, because it was so out of context and accusatory. I couldn’t help but wonder why he felt compelled to yell something like that at a perfect stranger. I wanted to believe he had the best intentions, yet could only wonder, “What’s in it for him?”

A message friend-to-friend, even out of the blue, says we care about the friend. A message from a stranger loses that impact. More, as Heuertz and Pohl tell us, it can be as odd and meaningless as randomly walking up to people on the street and telling them what you had for breakfast.

But friendships carry risks, and that’s where Friendship at the Margins soars beyond its target audience of people in the mission field. We all have friendships, associates or co-workers. Friendship at the Margins is a book about being friends even when the people are complicated. It’s about letting people touch you, and you touching others, without having an ulterior motive. It’s about respecting people for who they are, where they are, and allowing that they might —or might not— give you the same respect. Friendships at the Margins is about real friendships. It’s about being friends instead of doing a job. It’s about the layers of hurt and laughter that make friendships complicated, and ultimately, it’s about the
mutual respect and learning that come out of true friendships.

We’ve already recommended this book to friends. We thank Heuertz and Pohl for writing it.

Here’s the final entry in our conversation with Phileena Heuertz about her recently released Likewise book, Pilgrimage of a Soul.

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(SD) How’s it feel to have your first book coming out? What are you most excited about? Most anxious about?

(PH) It feels satisfying and terrifying at the same time. Satisfying because I’ve been true to myself in what I’ve written and furthermore in how I’ve lived. It feels terrifying because I’m offering myself to a large audience in a new way. Some of my friends, family and coworkers don’t even know some of the things I’ve written in this book about myself, my life and my experiences. In putting my experiences—some of which are very vulnerable—and my voice out there in this way, I am subject to the response of others. Will my book offer healthy influence, stimulate positive change, encourage people to deepen their faith and relationship with God? Or will it bring criticism and judgment to my message, my life? Probably both.

I think publishing this book is a new experience for me of living into Jesus’ exhortation to “count the cost and take up the cross.” When we acknowledge the work of God in us and offer that witness to the world, we are subject to both: glory and shame, praise and ridicule. The life of Jesus demonstrates that so well, and as a Christian I want to follow him. As I attempt to follow him, what I find is that regardless of what others say or think about me (for the good or bad), I remain a beloved daughter of God—more and more I am convinced that nothing I do and nothing anyone else does to me or says about me can change that.

Christianity is not the moral achievement contest we tend to make it out to be. If it is, none of us will win. Easy to believe but hard to live. The test comes when we experience criticism and judgment. But the true self isn’t swayed by the opinions of others. It’s the false self that is tossed back and forth by praise and ridicule. This is what I’m learning.