8th
Voice, Visibility & Vulnerability :: The Exhilarating Terror of Publishing
Well, my second book, “Friendship at the Margins” (co-authored with the brilliant Christine Pohl) showed up at the publisher’s warehouse last Wednesday. Though the official release date is April 5, I understand that pre-orders and advance copies are beginning to ship.
Publishing a book is quite an ordeal. I keep hearing people compare it to giving birth. Hmmmm… not sure that most moms would agree, I actually put my mom through almost 28 hours of painful labor before I stopped fighting and arrived. And, stretch marks… how do they factor into this metaphor?
Anyway, a lot really does go into writing a book. Having published two books now, I can attest that the process takes quite a bit out of an author. Reflecting back on the books I’ve published, a few emotions sort of surface as companions in the journey:
Hope: It all starts with an idea that needs to be flipped into a proposal. The idea may have seemed important to me, but it had to be convincing enough to make my publisher want to invest in it. This first step in the writing process introduced me to the vulnerability and possibility of rejection. Hope. The hope was that what matters to me matters to someone else, and, this hope not only starts the process but becomes very real and present once the book is actually published.
Excitement: Both times my proposals were accepted, I was sent a contract. I couldn’t believe it. A book contract. It still sounds crazy. And, I still can’t believe that I only negotiated (and failed) for an author-inspired bobble head, author-inspired action figures, author-inspired cell phone charms and air time on the Tyra Banks show.
Anxiety: Once I signed the contracts it almost felt like anxiety and the pressure of writing immediately kicked in. These feelings surprised me a bit, I thought once I had signed the contract and had the idea all ironed out, it would just flow. But there were numerous days of painful writer’s block that at times became debilitating.
Collaboration: My editors tried to guide and motivate and direct the content, forcing me to either own my voice with more confidence or try to understand how my voice would be heard by readers. For my second book I also worked with a co-author and we decided rather than each of us writing individual chapters we would blend our voices. It was amazing and created all sorts of opportunities as well as a few challenges from time to time.
Negotiation: At least with the publisher I’ve worked with, the author is given a say in what the title/subtitle might be, but the publisher has the final say. That’s also true with the cover.
Redundancy: One of the things that most surprised me about writing was how many significant milestones there were in the process. There are actually so many that at a certain point I stopped celebrating them, or it seemed like they were less significant than they really were and so I overlooked a few of them. Working with my publisher required a series of drafts: the first draft which is reviewed by a committee who makes suggestions, the revised draft that goes to the editor for more suggestions and revisions, a final draft that is then sent along to proof readers and a copy editor, and then the page proofs that need to be signed off on.
Anticipation: Once the page proofs are approved, things slowed way down and I waited—waited for months and months for the publisher to put together a marketing plan and then schedule a release date.
Vulnerability: Once the book actually dropped I started to gear up to face a whole new set of emotions surrounding the release. I hope people will buy it, I want it to have a great amazon.com sales rank number, I look for it in bookstores, I believe in the message and content (otherwise wouldn’t have written it) and want to get it out as far as possible but feel conflicted about promoting it myself, and then I reluctantly read the reviews of the book, hoping they are positive. All of these components really do create some new vulnerabilities. Also, I know that because my books are rooted in faith, many of my friends won’t read them or won’t even be interested in them—not all my friends are Christian, and many of my friends who are don’t share some of the same theological views I hold, so this means that people who care deeply for me might not really appreciate what I’ve written.
Confidence: Part of writing a book is promoting it. And, I’m up for the hustle, because I believe in the content. I’m also up for honest and thoughtful reviews of my books. It’s tough though to have them reviewed because some of what I’ve written is sort like “mile makers” on my journey—I mean, I might not think or feel or believe some of what I’ve written 10 years from now, but the thoughts that I’ve put down are an important part of my journey to where I hope to be 10 years from now. So, when someone critiques some of the same things I’d critique in my own writing, I just have to bite my bottom lip and take it because I’d give it to myself anyway.
Evaluation: My first book has been out for nearly 20 months and has gone into five printings, was nominated for a book award, is being translated into Korean and was featured at Urbana as a “book of the day”—all great indicators of success. But, I still haven’t got paid. Of course I did get an advance, but the book hasn’t sold enough copies to pay off the advance. On one hand it’s done great and on another hand, we’ll have to wait and see if it meets or surpasses the expectations of the publisher based on the amount of the advance they invested in it. And of course sales aren’t the only, way to evaluate a book’s impact, I would also hope that what I’ve written provokes a new imagination and consciousness in thoughtful people’s perception of how we can all be better witnesses for hope.
So, now I’m getting geared up for how well or poorly this second book will be received. But in the meantime I just want to hold a copy of it.
Not read it. At least not yet.
Just hold it.
And maybe I’ll get to on Monday.
