8th
Picking Teams :: Edward or Jacob? :: a Twilight Semi-Spoiler Alert
Thanks to our dear Mandy who loaned me the ‘Twilight’ and ‘New Moon’ DVDs, I’ve finally caught up with the rest of the vampire-loving world.
Now that I’ve viewed these first two movies (I won’t be able to call them ‘films’), I feel pressure to pick a team: Edward or Jacob.
My decision making process goes like this:
1) Native American or European descent? Have to go with the oppressed peoples. JACOB = Jacob 1 - Edward 0
2) Vulnerability of girlfriend’s life? Exposure to blood or possibility of making boyfriend angry… more likely to die by making boyfriend angry (something that is very, very common). EDWARD = Jacob 1 - Edward 1
3) Better car. EDWARD = Jacob 1 - Edward 2
4) Nicer friends. JACOB = Jacob 2 - Edward 2
5) Better afterlife options. JACOB = Jacob 3 - Edward 2
6) Less potential for sun-induced skin cancer risks for off-spring. EDWARD = Jacob 3- Edward 3
7) Less hair, which is supposedly important (and attractive) to girls, especially if they want to share a bed or shower with their partner. EDWARD = Jacob 3 - Edward 4
8) Bigger muscles. JACOB = Jacob 4 - Edward 4
9) Jean shorts. EDWARD = Jacob 4 - Edward 5
10) Easier to kiss without risking your life (btw, I don’t want to kiss either of them). JACOB = Jacob 5 - Edward 5
11) Edward is a better liar. JACOB = Jacob 6 - Edward 5
12) Possibility of Italian vacations. EDWARD = Jacob 6 - Edward 6
Sooooooooooo the jury is still out. But Jacob’s jean shorts really make me a wee little bit more sympathetic to Edward.
